Most of you guys know my story - I'm a recovered addict and for a long time I really had my life back on track. I was doing great, keeping my head down, and honestly I only really partied once in a blue moon.
Things started changing a few months ago when I moved into a spare room at a buddy's place. The guy is a total alcoholic and he's constantly going on benders, staying up for days at a time doing blow. For a while, it didn't even phase me. I stayed focused on work and hit the gym every day like usual. But eventually, I gave in and did some with him. I stayed clean for a few weeks after that, but then I did it again, and it just started happening more and more often. Now, for the last few weeks, I've been using every single day.
The trap is that it makes talking to women so much easier - I've been pulling girls that are way out of my league lately. Even worse, it actually makes me better at my job, so I've started using just to get through work. That's how bad it's gotten.
I've completely lost the drive to train and I can feel myself starting to fall apart physically. I've made some really dumb choices during this stretch too. I'm honestly not sure what my next move is, but I know you guys have always been a solid support system for me.
damn man that’s heavy - respect for being real about it tho
that environment sounds brutal for anyone in recovery, you’re not weak for slipping
sucks how it feels like it helps short term but steals everything else
glad you reached out here instead of just bottling it up
you’ve pulled yourself out before - hoping you get back to that place again soon
Damn man that’s rough, appreciate you being real about it. You’ve pulled yourself out before tho and that still counts for something. Don’t forget that.
Living with someone like that is brutal, especially when you’re in recovery. Doesn’t mean you failed, just means you’re human.
The fact you’re noticing it and saying it out loud is huge. A lot of people don’t catch it until way later.
I know it feels like it’s helping right now but you already see the cost with the gym and your headspace. That stuff always collects its debt eventually.
You’ve got people here who’ve got your back. Whatever your next move is, don’t try to white-knuckle it alone.
