Before everyone starts calling me "Mr. Dysmorphia" again or bringing up those old photos of me being shredded—I’m not lean anymore. That isn't the problem here. I’m fully aware that I’ve got some mental stuff to work through.
Right now, I’m 20, 5'6", and sitting around 145 lbs. I’m basically skinny-fat because I completely burned out from stress and haven’t stepped foot in a gym for two months. For context, I was about 133 lbs in those lean photos, but before I discovered GLPs, I was 180 lbs with zero muscle.
I’m currently running a high dose of GLPs: 10mg Tirzepatide plus 2mg Cagrilintide (though the Cagri has done nothing, so I’m dropping it next week). I started these because I’ve been dealing with severe binge eating since I was 13. My weight has constantly fluctuated by 50+ lbs for years.
I’ve seen countless therapists and psychiatrists, but nothing sticks. My brain just thinks about food 24/7. I’m never satisfied. This all started when I first lost weight as a kid, and it’s been a constant battle ever since. When I started Tirz back in February, it was a miracle for a few months—the binging stopped. But then the cravings came back. I upped the dose, and the same cycle repeated. Now, I’m at the point where I’m constantly restless unless I’m eating junk. Even after months of eating clean, the mental "food noise" is relentless.
Beyond the food, I’ve lost interest in everything else. Since I started dieting at 14, my passion for life just evaporated. Video games are boring, painting feels like a chore, and socializing is just exhausting. I can't even get excited about building a career; it all feels dull. Food is literally my only source of pleasure. I was put on antidepressants twice as a teenager, but they just made me feel worse.
I’m also constantly drained. I had to stop training because I didn't have enough energy to both work and hit the gym. I’m actually taking 5mg of SLU-PP-332 daily just to function well enough to keep my job.
I’m stuck in this loop: I find a short-term "fix" that lets me diet and train for maybe a year, but then I inevitably burn out, start binging again, and sink into this chronic exhaustion. It happened in school, and now it’s happening with work. I wanted to go to University, but I know I can't survive 3-5 years of studying when I don't care about anything.
I tried therapy again recently, but it feels like a waste of time. I'm just talking to a guy who doesn't give me any real solutions. Some doctors say it’s OCD, others say depression, but I honestly don't know anymore.
Everything comes back to the food because it’s so all-consuming that I can’t focus on anything else. Does anyone have any idea where to even begin fixing this mess long-term?
man i really feel for you. being 20 and feeling like your spark is totally gone is a heavy place to be. honestly it sounds like the super high dose of GLPs might be making the "anhedonia" (that feeling where nothing is fun anymore) way worse. if the meds are nuking your reward system so much that even hobbies feel like chores, it’s no wonder food is the only thing left that gives you a hit. hang in there man
5'6 and 145 isnt skinny fat bro, you're probably just small from not hitting the weights and being in a massive deficit for so long. the food noise coming back even on 10mg tirz is a sign that your body is literally starving and fighting back. you can't white-knuckle your way through survival instincts forever. maybe try bringing the calories up to maintenance for a few weeks just to let your brain breathe?
honestly sounds like you've been in a "dieting mindset" since you were 14 and your brain is just fried from the restriction. when you spend that many years obsessing over the scale, life eventually just loses its color. have you ever looked into the "all in" approach or at least a long-term diet break? the binging is usually just a reaction to the extreme restriction
dude i get the same thing with the food noise. it’s like a radio playing in the back of your head 24/7. but taking SLU-PP-332 just to get through work while also running tirz and cagri... that’s a lot of research chemicals for a 20 year old body to process. the exhaustion might be coming from the fact that your nervous system is just redlining constantly
im sorry therapy has been a bust for you. it sucks when you feel like you’re just talking in circles. have you ever been screened for ADHD? i know it sounds random but a lot of people who struggle with binge eating and "zero passion" for life actually just have dopamine regulation issues. might be worth a look since antidepressants didn't work for you
bro stop being so hard on yourself about the "skinny fat" thing. you’re 20! your body is still developing. if you're too exhausted to train, it's a massive sign you need more fuel, not more GLPs. food being your only pleasure is a classic symptom of being in a chronic energy deficit. your brain is literally prioritizing the only thing it needs to stay alive
the cycle of finding a "short term fix" then burning out is so real. i’ve been there. honestly, the best thing i ever did was throw the scale away and stop trying to be "shredded" like the guys on instagram. 133 lbs is super light for 5'6 anyway man - you might just be holding yourself at a weight your body hates
sending some good vibes your way. it sounds like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. maybe drop the cagri like you planned and see if the brain fog clears up a bit? sometimes these combos mess with your head more than the actual hunger does. you aren't a mess, you're just a guy going through a really tough transition
idk if this helps but maybe try finding a hobby that has nothing to do with how you look? like something purely for fun. it sounds like everything in your life is tied to performance or body image and that is a fast track to burnout. you gotta find a way to enjoy life at 145 lbs or you’ll never be happy at 133
the fact that you’re even posting this shows you haven't totally given up. that’s a win. i really think the "exhaustion" is your body telling you it's done with the dieting for a while. maybe try a "recovery" phase where the goal isn't fat loss, but just getting your energy back and finding one thing - even a small thing - that you actually enjoy again. gl man
