I’m not even 100% sure why I’m writing this, other than needing some serious reassurance and maybe to hear from anyone who has actually come out the other side of this okay. I am so sorry for how long this is going to be.

I’m currently 35+5 with my first, and it was a planned pregnancy. I’ll be honest—I felt really ashamed at the start because I actually struggled a lot with the news. I kept worrying I’d lose my freedom and I just wasn't bonding at all. My GP was amazing and got me in with a mental health unit for parents and babies, and I’ve been working with them ever since.

Fast forward a bit: I actually started getting really excited. But at 24 weeks, everything flipped. We were on a weekend trip for my 30th birthday and I realized the baby wasn't moving as much. I went into the hospital thinking they’d just check the heartbeat and send me home. While I was there, I happened to mention I’d had some extra discharge—nothing crazy, just creamy consistency—but they did a speculum just in case.

Suddenly an obstetrician is telling me they see fluid "pooling" and that I have PPROM (preterm premature rupture of membranes). They said I’d likely go into labor within 48 hours. It was a total whirlwind—they rushed me onto antibiotics and wanted to give me steroid injections for the baby's lungs. The doctor mentioned one small study about steroids potentially causing a "slight" dip in academic stuff later on—his exact words were "the difference between a B and a C in Geography"—but he strongly advised I take them. I was terrified and didn't want to risk my baby’s life, so we did it. After 48 hours of monitoring, I had no signs of labor, my fluid levels looked normal on a scan, and they sent me home.

Since then, my mental health has just spiraled. I’ve been obsessively Googling and found all these studies linking the steroids to ADHD, autism, and learning difficulties—stuff the doctor never even hinted at. It’s turned into a total compulsion. I’m looking back at everything I did earlier in the pregnancy and panicking. Did I inhale lead paint while sanding cabinets? Did I wash my fruit well enough? Was it the antibiotics? I’ve had 11 weeks of these intrusive thoughts that I’ve somehow ruined my baby's life.

Because of the PPROM, I’ve had weekly checks and growth scans. The weird thing is, I have never once felt a "leak" or a gush of fluid. At my last appointment, the consultant even said I might have "resealed." He said the bigger risk for learning issues is actually delivering at 37 weeks instead of 39, so he offered to push my induction back. But then I Googled induction hormones and freaked myself out about cerebral palsy risks.

Then, on Friday, they told me I now have too much fluid (polyhydramnios). The consultant called it "marginal," but the internet tells me it’s "moderate." I’m waiting on blood tests for toxoplasmosis and I’ve been testing my sugar for gestational diabetes. It looks like I do have GD, so now I’m dealing with the diabetic team and trying to avoid insulin, which would just send my anxiety through the roof.

Now I’m petrified about the birth. With excess fluid, a natural labor carries a risk of cord prolapse. Induction scares me, but a C-section has risks for the baby's breathing. I’m just a total wreck.

I know nobody can give me a 100% guarantee, but has anyone had the "just in case" steroids and their kids are totally fine and thriving now? Or dealt with GD and polyhydramnios and had a healthy baby? I feel so much guilt for taking the steroids when it turns out I probably didn't need them, or for eating too much chocolate or not exercising enough. I just feel like I've failed him already.

If you’ve read this far, thank you so much. I’m already getting professional mental health help, but I just really need to hear some positive stories from real people right now.

Injectable Steroids